Of Angels and Phantoms

This post has little to do with medical school or the training that came after that. Nonetheless, I'm submitting it still to The Blog Rounds 9th edition: Mentors, Tormentors hosted by MegaMom. I had no intentions to join this round until I read Manggy's contribution. Suddenly, a flood of memories came rushing in.

I was never the studious type yet always got good grades. When I transferred schools in second year high school, I was pretty confident. After all, I had aced the interview (surprising Mom with words she didn't know was in my vocabulary), did very well on the required summer course of speed reading and was one of only 5 who were accepted as transferees.

Then came my first music class and a surprise quiz. It was only a 5-item quiz but it felt like one of the longest moments in my then academic life. The questions pertained to things I'd never heard of in my life.

Zero. Zilch. 0.

That's what I got and I felt so bad. I'd never scored that poorly on a test. The music teacher called me when she'd seen my score and asked what my problem was. I told her I knew nothing about the things she asked. She understood but could do nothing about it.

But since that time, she took special interest in me; dropping reassurances after each exam, commending me on my progress, encouraging me to sing more loudly. She was my angel of music.

Yet I didn't give as much of myself. Instead of singing out loud, my singing was barely audible, almost lipsynched my way through music class. You see, someone had said that I sing two octaves lower knocking my confidence way, way down.

After that, I'd never been confident singing out loud. Singing in public became my phantom. While going on rounds alone while in training, I remember instances I would sing in the corridors but only when I'm sure no one's around. And while there were occasions to sing with a group while in training, for inter-hospital competitions, I chose instead to be in charge of props except during caroling.

After high school, I never got in touch with my music teacher. I'd learned sometime ago that she had passed away. I'd forgotten the other teachers I've had but not her. I will always remember the school with her in it. Perhaps the best way to pay her tribute is to start singing with confidence.

And we should show our appreciation more often. After all, teaching is one profession where one invests a lot of time and energy and yet the compensation is low.

music, phantom, angel of music, mentors tormentors, blog rounds